Monday, May 23, 2011

New rule in town

You'll excuse me if I continue to melt down while I type, won't you? 4+ hours and I'm beyond exhausted. Have been up since 5AM, spent half the day waiting (either for the doctor or for my ride) and, sorry to report but you agreed when coming here that you'd get the truth, spent the rest of the day running to the bathroom... because in the process of going GFCF, things are getting worse rather than better.

Anyway, I learned a few things from the neurologist today:
1. I CAN speak just fine.
2. It's a conversion disorder ("purely psychological," as she put it)
3. Not related to autism, because I don't have autism.

I don't care if they call it conversion, trauma, aphasia, green or purple... I want it to go away. I don't care how they treat. I don't care.

That said, I'm trying something new. You see, I type a LOT. I text, I email, I Twitter, and Facebook, and blog, and chat room, and forums, oh and my iPod... I type. Typing is my way of connecting with the world, even moreso now that I don't talk much.

So I'm going to take a typing break. Maybe if I type less, I'll be forced to speak more. Maybe I'll get so tired of my own head that I'll figure out how to speak again. After all, everyone (psychiatrist, neurologist, therapist, even Mom) say that it's all in my head... I guess we'll see.

Now; back to my meltdown.


  1. I don't agree with #3... and you had a guess at 1 and 2... conversion disorer is just fancy way of saying anxiety. Whatever you do, good luck... thinking of you.

  2. The neurologist said you don't have autism? Or did she just not put it down on the diagnosis? If she was evaluating purely for a physiological cause of the aphasia, then I am not surprised that she wouldn't want to "get into" a separate diagnosis.

    But i dunno...


  3. Matt makes a very good point.