Let's get one thing straight

Just because I talk one time you see me, doesn't mean I'm faking it, lying, being a brat, being willful, pretending, or anything else along those lines if I'm not talking the next time you see me.

How often do you see skills come and go in people? You can hit the high G some days but not others. You take a typing test but scored 90 WPM today instead of your usual 110. You do a magic trick but it didn't work right the first time around, like it did yesterday.

So how come when I can speak one day and can't on another day, I get accused of all sorts of things? My words are no different than any other skill. Just because for most people they are a constant thing does not mean that they are for everyone.

For the sake of argument, think for a minute as to why I would pretend not to speak. I love to talk, when I can. I love to share information and learn! What gain would there be in not speaking? In looking like a (insert negative word for being different here), when you know how much I like to blend in?

Is it possible, at all possible, that maybe I "faked it" so hard for so long and simply can't anymore?

So, say you're a runner. And you run everyday, and then you run some more. You've run a hundred marathons in your life. But no matter how good of a runner (read: faker) you are, eventually, you won't be able to run anymore. You'll have to simply stop and sit down.

Once I make sure everything's okay in my brain (because I do have that whole headbanging thing at times...), maybe I should just take a rest and give myself more leeway. My voice is not a gift, my voice is not who I am, my voice is not even special... it's my words that are all of those things, and you will have my words whether I speak them or not.

So hey people (who aren't even reading this...)? BACK OFF, okay?

Maybe if you do, the words will come back, you know? And maybe they won't. But you, don't you worry about that... let ME worry about that. You just enjoy me, if you can, in whatever state I'm currently in, and that is all I need.