I can understand why they say what they do. They say, "Oh, no, you don't need a cure because you're so high functioning!" "You can't really have those kinds of meltdowns!" "You're so articulate and self-aware!"
And when I tell them, "No, I'm really not." "Yes, I really do." "Only when I'm sitting at my computer," they don't believe me.
I know you see the words and hear intelligence and assume the corresponding behavioral difficulties must be mild. Not really autistic, right? Super-high-functioning-Asperger's, maybe, right? And, truth be told, if you catch me on the right day and if I'm faking it hard enough, you might see that too.
But that's all lies, all fake, all pretend. It's limited. It ends. Then I come home (I'm super lucky if I'm home before I truly fall into the autism... I seem to be losing my ability to "fake it" for as long as I need to be out anymore), and reality hits.
Tonight, after coming home from a fairly slow-paced, relaxing day with lots of breaks, once again someone accused me (wrong word?) of being sooo high functioning.
And, people, I've had it. I turned on the webcam and went back to chatting with Chloe.
I hope, in posting this, that you'll learn a few things.
1. I don't lie.
2. You'll see that awesome gifts and challenges can coexist in one mind and body.
3. Watch your presumptions. You never know what's inside (in the case of "real life") or outside (in the case of the internet).
Surprised? I hope not, because this is what I've been telling you is there all along, right? For the record, even my therapist would be surprised by this, because I don't let her see it either... and yes, I sent her the video, because she needs to see it.