10 things NOT to say to a person recovering from an eating disorder (and they've all been said to me since I've been home by people who should know better because I've talked to them about this):
1. It's impossible to eat that much and still lose weight (I hear: You're a pig).
2. You wouldn't look so big if you wore normal clothes (I hear: You're massive).
3. From the doctor in the ER: Frankly, I see nothing wrong with you (I hear: Go home, keep doing what you're doing).
4. Well, you look better. (I hear: You don't look sick anymore. You look healthy. You look fat).
5. Wow, that target weight sounds really high (I hear: FAT... = you'll never be pretty).
6. Are you really going to eat all of that? (I hear: You're such a pig!)
7. I'm so fat/I look horrible/I need to lose weight- referring to yourself (I think: If YOU need to lose weight, I must be disgusting).
8. Well, I'm on a diet and I'm eating x calories per day (I hear: ...and you're a pig because you eat twice that much!).
9. Aren't people with EDs thin? (I hear: You're faking it.)
10. Can't you lose weight healthily? (First of all, no, I can't; that's why it's a disorder. Secondly, all I hear is "LOSE WEIGHT NOW.")
And a freebie: 11. I would never eat... insert food/drink here. I've been told that V8 fusion, all carbs, nuts, organic chicken, organic eggs, and I forget what else are all horrible for me. And that's just this week. My food choices are not up to my mom, my friends, my sister, or even my therapist: they're between my doctor, my nutritionist and I.
Food and weight is a funny thing. I'm amazed by how much people put into these categories and forget how to speak to someone else.
ReplyDeleteKeep in mind people do love you for you. If they care about you they don't see the same imperfections you're afraid of showing. Weight concerns should be taken seriously by a medical standpoint, leading me to completely agree with you: it's between you, your doctor and your nutritionist/dietitian. And I wish you all the best with managing everything in between.
yes, what mel said.
ReplyDeletei wonder if it would be helpful to focus on what God says about food (like Matt. 6) and what He says about you (like Ps. 139) when the words of others seem loud and discouraging.
thinking of you...
Well meaning as I'm sure most people are - tell them where to shove it! They aren't you, and you aren't them. Good for you for sticking with your recommendations from your own professionals.
ReplyDeleteSending happy thoughts always! x