Monday, May 17, 2010

My own skin

Being comfortable with myself means accepting in myself would I would readily accept in someone else.

It means learning what makes me happy, and as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, doing it.

It means learning to be careful that I don't develop compulsions... before I even start to develop them.

It means realizing that sometimes, I look different to people.

It means that sometimes, I am different from other people.

It means coming to grips with the fact that "normal is a setting on the washing machine."

It means doing what makes me comfortable, like cutting my hair off, regardless of what other people think of it.

It means watching what I like on TV, even if it's not age appropriate.

In fact, it means learning to throw age appropriate out the window.

It means not getting angry at myself for repeating or throwing out bits of delayed repeating from TV shows, because I'm doing the best I can.

It means doing what I need to do to get through work, even if it means taking medication.

It means being an advocate for myself, at work for example. Everyone knows that I have autism and that I'm a little different, but they also know not to expect less work out of me for it. Oh, and they also know that I have a service cat and all about what she does.

It means accepting that God made me this way, not because of anything I did wrong, but so that my life may be to His glory.

It means sitting with the fact that people love me (yes, me) for who I am, and wouldn't want to change me even if they could.

I'm not there yet. Maybe it's normal stuff to deal with at 22, growing into yourself and whatnot. Give me another 10 years (gosh, will I still have this blog in 10 years?) and we'll see. Maybe I'll be there by then.