Friday, May 14, 2010

Growing down

Especially since I've been working, I've been growing the wrong way. You see, Mom wants me to grow up into an adult. But instead, I seem to be growing down into more of a child.

I'm hoping my neuropsych tests on Wednesday will prove that this is happening.

I can tell that my mama struggles with this. The problem is that the things that make me truly happy aren't adult things. Sometimes she gives in. For example, at the mall last weekend she got me a new Mickey Mouse t-shirt that I've only taken off long enough to watch. She always has said, "Mickey is for kids," but she knew how happy it would make me (and it did!) and bought it for me. (Don't worry, it was on sale.)

I've had the desperate urge to get my American Girl dolls back out and play with them, and she's letting me do that. I never really play played with dolls, just dressed them and undressed them and dressed them again. Oh, and put them to bed. I love to put them to bed.

I do puzzles, color pictures, and watch kids' shows on TV.

I have a secret, very childlike urge, that I can't even admit to. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm 22. 22.

Grow up, already.


  1. Well here's a thought. What if indulging in your childish pursuits in the privacy of your own home gives you the confidence to deal with the grown up world outside it? I don't think that's any different to me allowing the girls to wear their pj's all day on a Sunday and to do their own thing. Going out they have to make the effort but that's hard work so why not kick back and relax the way you want to in your own home?

  2. Growing down might not be as odd as you think. I'm a college junior and my friends (most of whom are NT) and I spend most of our weekday nights watching Animated Disney movies, doing puzzles, and coloring cool designs to hang on the walls. I think it might just be a phase that comes with being this age; we revert back to our childhood to gather the strength to move forward into adulthood.
    If it is something more serious though, I hope the testing goes well and lets you get the help you need.

  3. Be gentle with yourself Lydia. Who is to say what is appropriate for anyone else? If you are not hurting anyone, and you are happy, then good enough.

    BTW, your grey cat is hanging on our fridge. Thanks!

  4. Lydia, I totally agree with fullsoulahead. Doing things that make you happy is very important.