Grrrrr

When I was little, I used to growl at things I didn't like. Not just say, "Grr..." but actually growl. I still do it every once in a while. Right now, it's the only reaction I can get together for the current situation.

The Office of Vocational Rehabilitation (OVR) is paying for me to do a medical transcription course. My job goal is "medical transcriptionist." When I asked several months ago if I could try having a job coach at my photo lab job, their response was that they couldn't pay for MT and simultaneously help me at my current job. I understood, or so I thought.

So now the course is paid for. I'm working again at a different job, and I'm really struggling both to relate to the other people at work and with a lot of anxiety about work, yet again. I don't think it matters what job I do; I have so much anxiety about messing up, I can't control it. I asked my OVR counselor if, since the MT course is now paid for, I could now get a job coach at my current job. She said she doesn't think so, because it's "double dipping." I'm still taking the MT course online, and they can only help me with MT stuff. It seems a little silly to me. What am I meant to do in the meantime? I have to hold down a job in the year and a half it takes to do the MT course. So I'm completely on my own for that, no matter how much I struggle? They can't do anything to help me? Apparently not.

So that's where I am. I'm frustrated that, while there are services to be obtained, there are so many ifs, ands, or buts surrounding them that they're not always practical. I wish I were rich and could just pay for a job coach, but that's out of the question.

I repeat: Grrr....