Tuesday, April 13, 2010

68 minutes

Lest you think my brain handles language just like yours does because I write just like you might, let me explain the difference. My brain handles language much more slowly than yours. These posts are written a phrase or a sentence at a time, almost never all in one go. For this post, I'm going to insert a * every time I take a break. So far, I've taken two.*

Normally, when I speak, I do okay if I keep it short. I'm not one to speak in long soliloquies.* When people see me write, they assume that I'm an intelligent being.* When I speak, my IQ drops about 50 points. People who have only heard me speak, and not write, ask me questions like "You can drive? A car?" and "You went to college?" These questions are not one-timers*, either. They've each happened at least a dozen times.*

But tired and anxious is a deadly combination, and I become both at work.* The echolalia, a.k.a. the repeat game, really kicks up then.* It. drives. me. nuts.*

One of the things I do is repeat the tail end of questions people ask me.* "Can you take out the trash?" is met with "Take out the trash? Can I... um... yeah."*

(Pause. Insert melt down here).

Another* thing I do is get hooked on random phrases I've heard and* have this incredible urge to spit them out at random. "Sometimes I play the repeat game." "Right on red."* "God, You reign."* Not a big deal when I'm alone in the laundry room at work (favorite activity there = put the radio on and repeat, repeat, repeat), but after work when everyone is sitting around and it's all I can do not to say "right on red," it's a little-- okay, a lot-- weird.*

I also repeat my own thoughts, after I've thought them, out loud, over and over.* There's a word for this... palilalia, I think. It fogs up my brain of new thoughts, though, and gets really aggravating.*

I wish I could sum this up nicely and wittily, but my brain is done.*

It's rare that I run out of words to type with, but... as my mom would say, stranger things have happened.


  1. It is nice for my mental health to read about someone who has similar traits. Thank you.

  2. Lydia you are top of my required reading list. When I get asked loads of questions and don't seem to be getting my point across I just tell my interrogator to read your blog. It is such a goldmine of information and totally brilliant for all those people who just don't believe me when I talk about the difficulties my girls have along side their strengths. No arguing when it comes from the source rather than an "over anxious mother"!

    You are amazing.