I was thinking... rather than just tell you what the right thing to do in this upcoming situation would be, I think we've been acquainted long enough that we should see if you can get it right. So, it's quiz time!
You walk into the room, and I'm sitting there. I'm staring at my cell phone, not doing anything with it (there's a picture of a cat on the front of it, always). I'm flicking my fingers on my other hand. You can tell that I'm agitated. You ask what's wrong. I say, "My kitty's sick. The doctor said it's probably her kidneys and if it is her kidneys, it's fatal, and Mom says that if we lose Elsie, I can't get a new cat. I can't live without a cat. I need a cat." I'm almost crying, but not quite, and obviously restless.
What do you say?
For the record, this isn't an easy question. Also, Leigh, you're not allowed to answer this. Anyone else, if you're reading, I'd love a response.
Check back in a few days for the right answer and explanation.
Wow, tough one. If you were my son, here's what I would do. I'd ask if he wanted a hug. If he nodded, I would give him a VERY tight hug. Then I would just sit with him, and tell him over and over that I was there, and it would be OK. I would tell him that when he had words, we could talk. I would remind him that I love him, and then I would just wait for him to tell me what he needed.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to hear your answer.
Lame. But I'm interested.
ReplyDeleteOK - I would remember your magic words and say This will pass. I would try and see if talking was what you wanted, or a back rub or a hair brush (I'm thinking about things that calm the child at school!).
ReplyDeleteHmmm - not easy!
perhaps i would just sit quietly near you and allow you the space to work out your complex emotions, but stay near in case you needed me.
ReplyDeleteWell, here goes for the Brit version!
ReplyDelete"Hi Lydia, can I sit with you?"
(sit next to you if OK)
"You are OK. Elsie needs OK."
(give time to process)
Then it kind of depends what happens next from you. My girls sometimes need a big hug and sometimes not. Sometimes they want to split the light with my fingers instead of theirs.
Well, Lyd, you kind of already know since we've talked about Elsie from a distance. BTW, I praise God she's okay!!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I would sit with you quietly, let you talk or not (you usually do, once you get going). I may rub your back or put my hand on your arm or something physical to make my presence more tangible.
You know I'd offer possible alternatives, like volunteering at an animal shelter or something until circumstances change so that you can get another cat.
Lastly, I would tell you that I'll be praying for you, I would ask you to keep me posted, and I would just sit there with you until you were ready to move.