Cushions of energy

Last week, my therapist handed me a CD. "Try this," she said. "Every night before you go to bed, do this guided imagery exercise. Let me know how to like it when I see you next week."

I took the CD home, and that night, dutifully broke out and dusted off my CD player. I put the CD in and loved the music right away.

First, Ms. Naper... Napa... Nap..ar.. stek? told me to go to a place that I find peaceful and relaxing, in my mind. She suggested against a large oak tree, or on the beach, or deep in a field somewhere. Ignoring her suggestions of what I should find comforting, I picked my safe place: under Leigh's bed, when it used to be lofted. Okay. So I imagined how it looks (a little dark, a little crowded, but nice and tight and safe), sounded (err... sometimes I hear Leigh typing?), felt hard, that's easy) and even smelled (like a room, duh). I got the feeling that my safe place didn't exactly fit the mold here, but that's okay. It's mine.

And then we got... abstract. She instructed me to imagine a cushion of energy, drawing every good thought and feeling that anyone has ever thought or felt about me toward myself. I'm sure that's great for some people, but I can't see thoughts and feelings, so how am I supposed to draw them anywhere? My visual brain can't handle the non-visual aspects of this imagery. It's too abstract and complicated.

I realized, though, that I do really like the music that plays in the background of the CD. It's very calm and relaxing. Something like this, minus the talking, might do a little better. I can ask if my therapist can get a hold of that if I give her back the imagery CD. Or, Leigh's friend has a CD that has classical music with random cats meowing throughout. Depending on the tempo of the music, that could be very relaxing. Or what I really want is a CD with cats purring. Does anybody know how to make that?

That would be amaaaazing. A-meow-zing? Hahaha...

(A little update: I found a CD that uses cats purring with classical music as a backdrop and is meant for relaxation. Oh my goodness. All I need is $20. Maybe once I start working, I can get it and fall asleep in peace!)