How to (narrowly) avoid a melt down

Some people think noon is pretty important. We base our day on "before noon" (aka morning) and "afternoon." We eat at noon. Noon is a big deal. Not in my world. In my world, it's all about the mail.

My day hinges upon the mail coming. I depend on the mail. I need the mail. It's an essential part of my routine each day. I wait for it to come starting at about 2PM, waiting by the front window, waiting, waiting, waiting... and inevitably, sometime before 4PM each day, the mail comes! I run out in my barefeet (unless there is snow on the ground) to get the mail the second the mail truck goes on to the next house, so I can avoid small talk with the mailman. There's never anything for me. My grandmother, who died in May, easily gets ten times more mail than I do. But I'm the first one to see what comes. I get to see who got what. I get to see if maybe, just maybe, I got something. I need the mail.

Yesterday, I was anxious for the mail to come. It was 4PM and it hadn't come yet. I thought I'd check out if the mail truck was down the street, so I put on some shoes and decided to take the trash cans back to where they belong after trash day. I didn't hear the mail truck. This was getting ridiculous, I thought. Then it occured to me. Veterans Day. No mail. I felt the anxiety building. No mail on Veterans Day. The mail isn't going to come. I headed back to the house, making my hands into fists. It's not coming. The mail isn't coming today, because it's Veterans Day. I almost started to cry. Why do we have to celebrate holidays by not having mail? That's a ridiculous way to celebrate. We need the mail. I need the mail.

Elsie greeted me with a paw and a squeak as I come back through the door. She was concerned that I was crying, sweet kitty that she is. She doesn't like when I cry. I knew that Leigh was busy, but I knew she'd tell me to find cats, so I picked Elsie up and fussed over her. I took her into the kitchen and give her a treat, just because I can. She loves her treats. I started to feel a little better. Elsie

In the time I spent with Elsie, something miraculous happened. UPS came and brought my noise cancelling headphones. You see, my boyfriend (yes, folks, it's official) and I are going to Light Up Night next week and there will be fireworks (and you know how I feel about fireworks: not good). The 'works themselve are beautiful; it's the noise that gets me. As an early birthday gift, Justin got me "extreme isolation" noise cancelling headphones so that he and I can enjoy the fireworks together. I know, I know, I found a good one, eh? Headphones plus earplugs, and I should be able to watch the fireworks without tears for the first time in my life!

Anyway, first good thing that happened was that my headphones came, and they work wonderfully. They block 25 decibels, and my earplugs block 29, so between the two fireworks should be brought from approximately 110 decibels to approximately 60, or the level of normal conversation. That's about what I can handle without getting agitated, so, we should be in business!

Next, my mom said that she would stop at the video vending machine outside of the grocery store and look for UP, the movie (I clarify because people kept asking "up what?"). Well, instead of renting it, Mom bought it! We never, ever buy movies, but now we own UP! I was so excited to watch it, and watch it we did!

After the distractions ended, I did start to get anxious again and talked to my friend Emily online. She understood that I was uncomfortable about the mail and didn't tell me that I was being stupid or anything like that, like it might be easy to do. I understand that it's just a small change of routine, but it's so hard to deal with. I like my days to be the same. Emily and I talked for a little bit, and then I went to bed.

Luckily, I woke up to a new day... a day with mail! Today will be a good day. I'll work on my medical transcription, work on my book, and this evening, I'm going to the mall with Justin and one of his MHMR clients. I'm excited to meet the client, as I'm thinking this could be a future career for me. I still don't like unexpected no-mail days, but maybe they're not all bad. At least they're over pretty quickly and onto something else! It will pass. It always passes.