How I Got Here
I grew up with a lot of frustration and misunderstanding. I was a tantrum-ing, has-to-be-my-way, zero-to-sixty kind of kid. Academically, I did extremely well and was in the gifted program by the end of kindergarten, so no one really looked into the issues I did have. School reports say that I would only do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it; refused to work to my potential; lazy, forgetful, disorganized, inattentive. I had been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and OCD and ADD (minus the H) were mentioned, but no one was quite sure what the problem was. I was annoyed, because I knew that I wasn't depressed. I didn't know how to tell anyone what was wrong, so it came out as shutting down or melting down and being angry with my family for not understanding.
Finally, at 20, I was diagnosed with Asperger's. Recently, that was changed to Autistic
Disorder. Whether or not I had a language delay is up for debate, because while my mother insists "you were completely normal," looking at old home videos, I most certainly was not. Aside from some echolalia, I did not speak (at 2 and 4 years old).
Where I Am
I am living at home with my parents, trying to get my feet on the ground. It's a struggle for me to do the basic things I need to do to get by, like taking my medications and remembering appointments. My mom is helping me a lot. Health insurance is the Big Thing right now. I am, as of the other day, off my father's plan and have to fend for myself. Right now, there is no way that I could manage a full time job. Heck, right now, I can't FIND a job! I can stay on COBRA, but it's really expensive, and without a job, that's pretty tough. My mom will pay if she has to, but I'd hate that. We're all hoping that I can stay on my mom's insurance through a waiver that allows a "disabled" (hate that word!) adult to stay on the parent's insurance. That would be ideal. In the mean time, I continue to desperately search for a job that is 1) very close, as I lost my license due to seizures therefore needing rides, and 2) something I can manage (i.e., grocery stores, most restaraunts are completely out because I would be overloaded and overwhelmed).
Where I'm Going
In the next few months, I hope to find a job and get used to working 20-25 hours a week. I hope to get my psych meds corrected, so that I'm not such an anxious, frustrated mess. I hope to get OFF Klonopin, which calms me down but makes me "act autistic." I'm always right on the edge of keeping it together, so... I hope that I can.